Contemplating the Nothingness of Life

2006-04-08T04:26:00.000-07:00

ROMANCE IN BLACK AND WHITE

And in this picture
Things could’ve been better off
If the protagonist
Just took her hand and ran off
But it’s true
As for most stories we’ve seen
Black is new
When the good guy is not so keen
And in this story
Things would’ve ended happily
Not like reality
Where things can end up in catastrophe

And in this story love is defined as forever, Never had a beginning, so we will see the end never, And where feelings are frozen and words can’t be taken back, Things always seem to end happily when they are shaded in just white and black.

The screen is bursting
As you are like an actor pretending
Love is lasting
Only until where the limelight is shining
And I can’t blame you
I know it’s really funny to see me as so
But when it’s over
I find it so hard to let you go
Because when you’re acting
It seems so real and very well trimmed
But what is lacking
Is continuity consistent when lights are dimmed?

2006-04-08T02:17:00.000-07:00

WAITING LINE

Look my way and fake a tear
And see me running crazily through these streets
Peer through your window and I am here
With that just slide the curtains and hit the sheets

Because I’ll be waiting from the end of the line
I’ll be yours and finally you’ll be mine
Just as soon as soon as I pass the waiting sign
I will shine, and we will shine

And I’d like to think
That at the front you are also waiting
And without hesitation
When you see me you’ll come running

And when I came here
I really have nothing to say nothing to show
Just this intention
Just this thought that you should already know

Because I’ve been waiting from the end of the line
To be yours and for you to be mine
And I never took notice of your warning sign
Please be mine, Oh please be mine

And finally when we meet face to face,
And then you find you don’t like the taste
You send me of with bitter haste
I’ll fall in line again just to see your face

2006-04-03T05:20:00.000-07:00

FOLD TO FIT

Lately I have learned
How to bend and how to fold
Though it’s harder than it looks
More painful than what they told

Looking for myself
I’m wondering where he went
I’m used to seeing me
I don’t remember being bent

Time to put you down
From that pedestal your standing
Always looking up
It's my time your wasting

It’s your way or mine
Doesn’t matter to me you see
If I knew you were running
Running to be with me

Is it a question of time?
Is it a question for me
Answers come from years
So I’ll stay here to see

2006-03-31T18:44:00.000-08:00

PLACED AND MEASURED

Barely figured out why
Love is a constellation
Connect the points
Shadows are gaps of compromise

When left to imagination
Everything is perfect
I am here as you are
Though real numbers will never lie

Try to understand it’s not you its me I've some problems keeping up with thoughts that come from my chest, It’s better sometimes not to hear them but you see, seeing you makes me think twice

Highly unintentioned
Lacking all the planning
I came here with nothing
And yet I’m leaving with even less

So where am I to stand now?
Fearing misdirection
Drew a line between
I find myself on the other side

Try to see that it’s not me, Its this heart that’s calling, If I had my way I’d forget your name and sail away, And save myself from this pain that’s sure to stay.

Chasing what I’m dreaming
Checking all the angles
Fool run through
Knowing there is no way I could win

Knowing what you’re doing
I’m learning my place
Tripped on my own lace
Now Im standing up battered and bruised

2006-03-23T06:55:00.000-08:00

And I’m torn between hope and reason
Left my voice with that kid at the hall
It’s sure is warm in the summer season
When pillows are all there is to hold

Well I get lost in familiar places
Street signs point me nowhere near
I follow them through empty spaces
Hoping to find some peace of mind here

Brought my heart in lieu of my logic
I don’t know if I brought the right one
Because when I see you think nothing of it
But I swear I feel like something’s undone

Still this shadow makes good conversation
Sarcasm is the only thing that’s clever today
Discretion is a loud mans creation
When he feels the world knows what he’ll say

I can’t think of what you are thinking
I have to figure things out around here first
Shrinking through the sheets I am sinking
Thinking that my heart will surely burst

2006-03-19T06:01:00.000-08:00

THOSE EYES

But there’s something about those eyes
As you are my pleasant surprise
My heart soars across the skies
Because I’ll rest love on those eyes

They tell me secrets never known
I see feelings though never shown
Like wind is invisible and clear
Your love is felt be sure my dear

Well I see you now standing there
I feel the warmth from you stare
Show me the window to your soul
Take me places I want to go

Tonight, though the clouds weep
I’ll have you here sound asleep
In my arms you’ll dream forever
Kiss your cheek so soft and tender

Still you rest, when sunshine breaks
Morning comes the night it takes
Open your eyes as to so they may
Tell me things they said yesterday

2006-03-18T08:43:00.000-08:00

MANCX'S DAY

They say were dust fallen from the stars
Nobody really knows who you are
We’re puzzle pieces, just a part
Of a bigger scheme, a work of art

A masterpiece, His master plan
A symphony that’s written on the sand
God gave melody and you the bridge
You are the music He brought to the land

And today the birds will sing for you
And the skies will be clear and blue
The winds will blow and whisper
And they will be talking about you

Because without you how could we be
Beautiful in others eyes completely?
When God chose you specifically
As the puzzle piece right next to me

And tonight stars will shine for you
The air is quiet but it will soothe
As we look back we’ll know it’s true
That this day was especially for you

And when you’ve lost faith in you
You are left without a clue
Just remember this day …
The day when the world stops for you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANCX =p

2006-03-12T05:07:00.000-08:00

REALIZATIONS

Well this concludes my 2 month psychology project. And what have I accomplished while contemplating the nothingness of life? I can't really say at this point. Did I become a better person because of this endeavor? perhaps, maybe my vocabulary is better because of this. I'm not really sure. But for someone who really has no genuine outlet for these things I think that it helped me through certain phases in my life that I've faced. I highly recomend starting a blog to those who are interested in doing so. I believe that it is a great way to channel ones energy in a semi-productive manner.

Though I write with real emotions and real feelings. The stuff I write about are mostly fictional. I did not write about my own relationships and such because I believe that if I did that then I would limit my writing. Well my life is indeed interesting to a certain level I just believe that there are more things I could write about if I did not focus on it. Though most of my work came out cheesy I really tried steer away from the mushy stuff and really just try to write things never been written about before. Honestly I really tried. But I guess if thats what comes out then I can do nothing now at this point.

More realizations after writing 9 potential songs? Song writing is tough work! only now that I've tried it for myself can I appreciate the writings of others fully. I found out that there is more to writing than making the last words of your sentences rhyme. And figuring out the right formula to writing songs was a fun challenge for me. It was tough at times but it stimulated learning within me and in a way tickled my brain. "Mental Spelunking" as my highschool philosophy teacher would say. I realized that it is one thing to write with your brain and it is another thing to write with your heart. and mixing both can be an explosive drink.

More realizations after spilling my brain farts into writing? Song writing is not for me. Its one of those things that you love and which don't love you back. Hehe. Well I think after this I'll still continue writing though. It was a great experience for me still regardless whether I wrote well or not. Just the thought of "creating something out of nothing" gives me a certain sense of satisfaction.

HIgh points of this project? well some people actually read my work and liked it! YES believe it or not! theres my MOM, LOLA, TITA, and a few others whom I payed to read my blog. Just kidding. Well knowing that you are able to share a piece of yourself to others and them actually acknowledging it and accepting it gives you a certain sense of pride. It feels good to be accepted and for my work to be actually appreciated by other people is BLISS.

Low points of this project? well I always ask people for constructive criticism. And I tell you now, It is no fun to be criticized. It is a pain in the ass to hear somebody bash your work for the sake of bashing it. And it really ticked me off listening to their outrageous comments. Well hard as it was I tried my best to listen and to take in their criticisms I used it to fuel my new works and into making them better. I realized that no matter how good you think your work is there is someone out there ready to put your self esteem down. My advice is not to ignore the person but to listen to what they are trying to say. Take it in and use it to make yourself better in any way possible.

Final realization? Well this is more like a confirmation. Yes reader... I am the Ultimate CHEEZEBALL!

Thanks for taking time to read about the nothingness of life.

2006-02-16T23:36:00.000-08:00

A HUMBLE REPLY

You asked me who you are
I answered you are Messiah
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than Messiah to me

Because when I was afraid
Terrified of the rocking sea
You went out and calmed the storm
You embraced to comfort me

You asked me who you are
I answered you are my Friend
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than a Bestfriend to me

Because when I was deaf
I asked you to make me hear
You lay your loving hands on me
and now the faintest whisper is clear

You asked me who you are
I answered you are the Lamb
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than the Lamb to me

Because when I was astray
the path was shrouded with sin
You went out of your way
to make my new life begin

You asked me who you are
I answered you are my Father
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than a Father to me

You took me back with no question
Though I ran away from our home
ring on my finger and sandals on my feet
I realized I can't make it on my own

You asked me who you are
I answered you are King
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than King to me

Because when the world is yours
Residing in the heavens above
You came down and became man
just to show the world of your love

You asked me who you are
I answered you are my Brother
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than Brother to me

Because when I asked for bread
Without question you fed me
Gave Your life to me and said
For me you will suffer greatly

You asked me who you are
I answered you are Almighty
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than Almighty to me

Because though you have the power
You were like an angel undercover
when we found you in a manger
led by a bright star to discover

You asked me who you are
I answered you are my light
but surely there is something more
more than what we take you for
You are more than a light to me

Because when I was cold
I felt you in the warmth of the sun
And when I felt lost and old
you held out your hand for me to hold

You asked me who you are
I answered you are my Father, my Brother,
my friend, my light, my Healer, my Savior
But surely You must be something more
more than what we take You for
You are more than Messiah to me.

2006-02-03T14:35:00.001-08:00

MORNING PRAYER

I feel the morning rain
Washing away the pain
He tells me the road ahead is hard and heavy
I breathe away the stain
That's Driving me insane
He tells me he will guide me clear and steady
I must now choose a lane
her weight is my bane
He tells me he will show me when I am ready

May this day be a prayer to you...

I close my eyes and ears
Rain will hide my tears
I raise my hands to show my last surrender
waiting all these years
He crushes all my fears
I praise his name coz I have found my maker
Though twilight draws near
The road is here and clear
I run straight to him, no roads now meander

May this day be a prayer to you...

I recieve his loving grace
Takes me to a higher place
I feel my soul and it's not still any longer
I feel his mighty gaze
Drying the pain in my face
I know he knows me and the fact makes me stronger
He holds me, In any case
He has given me a taste
The Shadow is no match for the light that I hunger

May this day be a prayer to you...

2006-01-28T04:00:00.000-08:00

SANDCASTLE LADY

Would you be queen, the highest brand?
Of this two story castle made out of sand
Gona be you and me I got it all planned
In this two story castle made out of sand

We'll fix the place ofcourse it will be grand
In This two story castle made out of sand
We could have a few kids and make up a band
In this two story castle made out of sand

Come away with me
and you will see
a place of extreme scenery
walk today with me
and we will be
chasing tides for eternity

This will be our getaway
Our very own hideaway
If you could find a way
We could just run away
Just Fly away...
With me

Our view will be the sea touching land
From this two story castle made of sand
We'll stay in all night all day we will, and
Make love in this two story castle of sand

There will be harsh winds but it will stand
This two story castle made out of sand
And if you dont find rest I'll hold your hand
Keep you warm, this castle made out of sand

Come away with me
and you will see
a place of extreme scenery
walk today with me
and we will be
chasing tides for eternity

This will be our getaway
Our very own hideaway
If you could find a way
We could just run away
Just Fly away...
With me

2006-01-22T05:11:00.000-08:00

COME TO ME

I'm officially lonely
won't you come to me tonight?
take the form of a kiss
that will leave my mouth watery

I'm officially lonely
won't you come to me tonight?
in the form of a breath
the type that's warm and sultry

I'm officially lonely
won't you come to me tonight?
take the form of a touch
that will lift my spirit slowly

I'm officially lonely
won't you come to me tonight?
in the form of a vision
the type that will my eyes blurry

I'm officially lonely
won't you come to me tonight?
take the form of a smile
that will make me feel a little cheezy

I'm officially lonely
won't you come to me tonight?
In the form of a song
the type that will satisy and soothe me

Because at this moment
Bliss is not so distant
If only you come to me
so won't you come to me?

You blow my mind...

You set me free...

Come to me...

2006-01-19T05:42:00.000-08:00

SUNCHARMER

Now Here's another,
The sound surrender
The type that gets stuck in your head

Well here is the girl,
She who played the world
The one who left us spinning while it bled

In more ways than one
You captivate the sun
Now we're left undone...

Who d'ya think you are
Bringing us thus far
playing us for the fools that we really are

And this is the world
Taking it back at her
realizing that we were never in her care

Now here comes the sun
having its little fun
Now she's the one undone....

2006-01-18T06:26:00.000-08:00

TOMORROW

Is there nothing more
here for my eyes to see
In lieu of my dreams
It takes a hold of me

A vast horizon
held in a mystery
The cliff it lifts me
to see eternity

My questioning soul
takes to the wind to see
what the future holds
When I set myself free

I say to the wind
I'ts now just you and me
You direct your breath
Where I should really be

Today can not wait
to become tomorrow
As I can not wait
tread a path so narrow

2006-01-18T04:36:00.000-08:00

Well these first few posts are too cheezy I know... but this is like detoxicating myself... just like how water therapy works... I need to let it out so I can get rid of it... I figured its just a phase and I'm hoping I get over this hump really soon. BERWITME!

2006-01-18T04:33:00.000-08:00

HAPPY IS HE

And you will never know how your words soothe me
Though I will never try to let it out and let it be
Because by doing so I just might miss the spark
When you bring to me the light that hides the dark
Where are you standing in the great scheme of things?
Are you that sweet taste that the summer brings?
The trees shed their shelter upon the autumn moon
Just like we do when things like this end oh so soon
Happy is he who is near because he can see you
But happier is the man who believes you can come true
Though blind is the man who shares in this belief
Because happiest is the man who steals you like a thief

2006-01-16T06:35:00.000-08:00

AS BEAUTIFUL AS SHE

Neon lights illuminate
Her unblackened waves
her sweet breath
takes a hint of alcohol

Two stars as her eyes
Shy away infinitely in the night
They are distant and unknown
But they are happy to be alone

Still pictures in her skin let me know
The things shes been through
I assure her I won't let go, though
I know her wings will take her home

And if I meet her hand in hand again, I would ask her how, how she made it through what I'm going through right now...

Peace signs in her hands,
They let me know its alright
But I know that there will never be
Another night as beautiful as she...

2006-01-16T06:23:00.000-08:00

GRAY MORNING

The sky is gray in the morning
I don't really know how to feel today
Maybe I should get to learning
Maybe it's better to live this way

Getting out of bed is no hard feat
It's getting things done thats the trick
Not much to look forward to today
But the possibility of seeing you... might give me the kick

I'm Jaded
I'm faded
I'm learning things backwards today
I'm hated
I'm graded
I'm throwing things upwards today...

And my heart is broken in two places
I don't really know who to see for this
You've got me tangled in your laces
Running blindly through empty spaces

I'm lying
Im dying
I'm trying to see the source of light
I'm crying
but I'm smiling
I'm hiding these stream of tears from sight...

And you make this morning a little colder
The sun seems a little too lazy today
I sing and I feel a little older
I'm hoping that I'm also a little wiser today...

But this is my gray morning...

You are my gray morning....

You are gray...